see jane run
#12
i can in minutia see how someone could confuse grooming with dog keeping Hysterical

this however is quite haunting. i know adults who are still as pets due to such horrible actions. the I don't like couplet shows the lack of emotion i can only presume doesn't exist. what really hits home with the piece is the ownership of the child by the adult and the brazenness and pride shown. a horrible poem indeed but a good one. no in-depth as it strikes a chord in me. if i dwell on the pem it elicits a tear or two.

(05-10-2017, 03:17 AM)Lizzie Wrote:  she thinks I love her
I don't
but I'm cradling
that belief—
it'll make touching her easier

she's nine but smells like thirteen—
strawberry Lip Smackers
and Love's Baby Soft perfume—
the shit parents gift their budding daughters
to mask the musk of first periods

I don't like em young
I don't like anyone

but I can get her
to perform on command
like she's hypnotized—
I snap my fingers
and smile

as she heels to me

such a good girl—

I love to watch her
run

Capped the I's and changed the last two lines to Todd's suggestion, 5/11/17
Reply


Messages In This Thread
see jane run - by Lizzie - 05-10-2017, 03:17 AM
RE: see jane run - by Todd - 05-10-2017, 04:20 AM
RE: see jane run - by Lizzie - 05-14-2017, 06:07 AM
RE: see jane run - by vagabond - 05-14-2017, 07:43 AM
RE: see jane run - by Lizzie - 05-15-2017, 07:01 AM
RE: see jane run - by vagabond - 05-11-2017, 07:05 AM
RE: see jane run - by burrealist - 05-11-2017, 07:14 AM
RE: see jane run - by nibbed - 05-14-2017, 09:57 AM
RE: see jane run - by 67eager - 05-14-2017, 05:31 PM
RE: See Jane Run, revision 1 - by vagabond - 05-15-2017, 07:31 AM
RE: See Jane Run, revision 1 - by Lizzie - 05-15-2017, 10:22 AM
RE: see jane run - by billy - 05-15-2017, 10:30 AM
RE: see jane run - by Lizzie - 05-17-2017, 01:45 AM
RE: see jane run - by Achebe - 05-15-2017, 01:14 PM
RE: see jane run - by burrealist - 05-16-2017, 05:09 AM
RE: see jane run - by tectak - 05-16-2017, 06:30 PM
RE: see jane run - by Lizzie - 05-17-2017, 04:10 AM
RE: see jane run - by tectak - 05-17-2017, 03:53 PM
RE: see jane run - by Lizzie - 05-18-2017, 12:40 AM
RE: see jane run - by tectak - 05-18-2017, 02:18 AM



Users browsing this thread:
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!