see jane run

[Lizzie]

yes, it isn´t love when it´s self-serving. guess it´s impossible to define love anyway.. Yeah, I guess that's where the conversation leads, to the nature of love. I have no answers, but I'm glad it brought us to this conversation. 

no, i don´t think it needs more details, at least to me that would only be destracting of the things this poem makes me think about.  So, I did add a few bits in to, hopefully, sort some of the ambiguity tripping people up -- please let me know if this derails the read.

i think nobody can state "i don´t like anyone" and truly mean it. You're right. There has to be something human inside of everybody.

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Hi Lizzie, okay this is a genius poem, wow. My first inclination was that of an abuser, but then after careful examination, I went with what was written instead of what my mind first steered toward because of the influence of the news and what I let into my head space. There has been a lot written lately about female teachers abusing their students and so my head naturally went in a direction of abuse.

Now I am thinking something completely different, a coach, perhaps. A track coach, but a male coach, not a female coach. I was disturbed by the word "heels", first a dog but then imagined a runner in a starting position. A female would never say "to mask the musk of first periods". So I am thinking this is a male track coach with a young female athlete, but it is a bit disturbing he knows the brand names of the products she uses, unless he has a daughter of like age at home. "It'll make it easier touching her" may refer to when it is necessary to touch in order to show proper stance or position.
                                                                                          

Thanks for reading, nibbed! What I'm hearing from you is that there's too much ambiguity around the details of the story, yes? I think this one is always going to have room for the reader to project people, places into the story -- it's never going to be specific. But, I don't want the reader to be flailing around for something solid.

Thanks again for the feedback.

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The ambiguity of who is talking is another aspect of the poem which I really appreciate. I often ask myself whether the person speaking is a practicing molestor, or merely someone contemplating the act. I guess there's no real difference internally... Which might be what you are trying to say.

That's an interesting distinction, and I can't honestly say if it makes a difference whether the predator has ever attained the goal or not. My sense is that predators will always hunt, whether they bring home a squirrel or an antelope. The mindset is the same. But, I'm not a molester, so I don't know for sure.

I'm hoping that I'm not botching the voice horribly. I'm beginning to wonder if we can ever authentically portray the voice of someone who is so "other."

But, thanks for taking the time to interact with the poem -- it was very helpful.