Wrath Like Thunder (Revision 3)

[Lizzie]

Would it be ok to eliminate the period after 'rose' and made it all one sentence?

Revision

Blood became a whisper -- I'm thinking that 'became' is not pulling its weight and you could choose something more dynamic or descriptive.
beneath the soil
damp with accusation
as the mist that once rose.

Until I 

held the world -- same with 'held' -- it's a little too soft
under water, 
matching murder
drop-for-drop
with no one left 
to cry out.

The blood was a whisper
beneath the soil
damp with accusation
as the mist that once rose.
Until I held the world
under water, matching murder
drop-for-drop
with no one left to cry out.