see jane run

[burrealist]

she thinks i love her
i don't
but i'm cradling My thought here was of a parent crying, trying to take care of their child. But this isn't the theme carried on. My other thought was of a relationship. Obviously I made too quick of an assumption.
So I wonder, what is cradling telling us?
that belief—
it'll make touching her easier Blunt.

she's nine but smells like thirteen—
strawberry Lip Smackers
and Love's Baby Soft perfume—
the shit parents gift their budding daughters Shit and gift make a nice contrast.
to mask the musk of first periods A contrast is conveyed here, but it isn't as strong as the first one.

i don't like em young What is this supposed to mean? I guess this pervert is willing to control anything.
i don't like anyone Well, why not? What went wrong in your childhood to turn you into this? Or are you simply sociopathic?

but i can get her This is a chilling line. It's confident and disconcerting.
to perform on command
like she's hypnotized—
i snap my fingers
and smile
as she heels to me

—such a good girl—

i love
to watch her run This end may be somewhat vague. If this person loves the thrill of a chase, simply watching someone run won't cut it. It's like watching your adorable dog play fetch. That thought is different from what you've been speaking of.

It's May. Let the workshopping begin. This one was written for day one, NaPM 2017)

I like the blunt nature. Blunt is my thing, I like it more than subtlety (even if I've complimented subtleties written by other people). My thought is to expand on the perversion at the end. 

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I like Tom's suggestion for the ending.