05-04-2017, 04:31 PM
The revision works well for me. Maybe some tweaks somewhere but I'm at a loss where other than somehow trying to replace "They" in "They don't always work" with - if you can find one - a synonym for "threat". The fact that "threat" is in the title to me isn't enough to know what "they" is / are. (tho' on 2nd thought, "they" does get context as the poem develops.... hmm I'm conflicted)
Especially like the fact that some lines are longer than others. Sets a silly, irreverent tone that's appropriate.
Despite the fact that I am now intimidated by your methods (!), believe me when I say that I was entertained. ;-)
Especially like the fact that some lines are longer than others. Sets a silly, irreverent tone that's appropriate.
Despite the fact that I am now intimidated by your methods (!), believe me when I say that I was entertained. ;-)