Untitled (4th revision)

[tectak]

[quote='burrealist' pid='226705' dateline='1491335027']
Hello burr,
Has this one stuck? Could be because you haven't distinguished it with a title...you let the poem down and you let yourself down.
OK. Cards on the table. Unless you work on changing the "condition" of this piece...and it IS your poem...I can only say it reminds me of early video games where one had to collect useful items to complete the "task". Ladder, axe, stake, paper, steps. I know that it MEANS much more than this, so do it justice.
Best,
tectak

Aye! Why is poetry so friggin difficult?
Thanks for the critique. Especially for the intensive care you gave it. It hacked into my heart and I died a little because this was one of my favorites. Ew.

In any case, I have a lot to work on now (I hate poetry).  

Good egg,
best,
tectak