Fifth Edit: On a Day Like This

[Todd]

Hi Richard,

I like the poem. A few suggestions. I would let your title lead into your opening line. What I mean is I think the poem would be significantly improved if you cut lines one, four, and eleven from the poem. I think the refrain got you there but like a scaffold can be removed now. I also think that lines two and three are a lovely image. 

Best,

Todd

On a Day Like This

on a day like this
the houses outside
are like footprints in the snow

on a day like this
feeling the draft
coming from the window
I remember the boots
I’ve lost
following friends
I no longer know

on a day like this
the winter wind
sounds like loneliness chasing half forgotten memories
of home