Engaged

[Nyph]

Hi Elizazile,

I really enjoyed your poem. I have a similar opinion as Todd has, you have such a good ending line that I would try to get the reader there as fast as possible. For that I would bring in a little more rythm for example:

I just want to be able to say
I let this world seize me
And I reached out to seize it myself

I think if you shorten it up like this or in some other way it will emphasize your last line even more making it even better.

I hope this helps. Best wishes!