04-12-2017, 09:58 PM
some day the sun will -
but for now
the moon is
I was assuming that both the sun and the moon exist, the comparison is between the sun's future actions
and the moon's present existence. It's a bit of a Zen koan: Comparing the illusion of the future (and the past as well)
with being in the present. Placing the sun or the moon -- and even more so both of them -- in a poem cannot help but call
up a few hundred metaphors or so. There's no controlling where the reader's mind will go, and that's exactly my intention.
but for now
the moon is
(04-12-2017, 05:07 AM)Lizzie Wrote: I love this Ray. I like the being verb with the moon -- the tension between steadiness with the reality of the moon's motion.
Portraying the moon as a season of life, instead of the usual spring, summer, fall, winter. I like.
Maybe add "be" to the end of the first line to mirror the end of the third line?
I was assuming that both the sun and the moon exist, the comparison is between the sun's future actions
and the moon's present existence. It's a bit of a Zen koan: Comparing the illusion of the future (and the past as well)
with being in the present. Placing the sun or the moon -- and even more so both of them -- in a poem cannot help but call
up a few hundred metaphors or so. There's no controlling where the reader's mind will go, and that's exactly my intention.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions