No Sunshine.

[Brownlie]

I painted out the sunshine with a brush of broom and briar -- a broom and briar brush? comma before but with the conjunction?
but the birds still sang above the sage marquee.
I tried to listen downwards where the silence used to be,
in the places where my footfall stopped, I lay.
The scents of life still sifted up through cloying clay below;
damply, like a dream that wakes but why, you never know.
I heard a pulsing heart that was mine but seemed too grand;
it was loud and sounded closer than my senses could explain.
Blood rustled in my ears and beat  drums made out of hay -- Comma? I mean you are using punctuation, and you have two complete thoughts with the conjunction. 
and this was how the music played, a bitter symphony.
No sweet guitars, no violins, no angels singing in the wings,
no song from you, no perfumed hair, no brushing touch,
no warm, moist kiss…I painted out the sunshine yesterday.



After a Van Morrison/ Ray Charles Concert 1996
tectak June 1996

Hey this poem went in an unexpected direction with the turning and whatnot. Maybe a few too many prepositions. Seems pretty good for sonnet, though you're a maniac for using such an archaic mode.