(rape) Phnom Penh
#7
I'm new to critiquing and so can't offer something quite as detailed as the wonderful comments that you've already gotten -- however, I loved this poem. It really stood out to me, in that it was descriptive and "rich" enough that I could see the imagery in my mind. Beautifully done. 
The only part that didn't fully "flow" for me is the last two lines. It's hard to say why (I don't know much about meter) but the wording seemed a little clunky. "Cover your own" is a little too ambiguous perhaps? Is it referring to house, the streets? Is there a clearer way to say this?
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Messages In This Thread
(rape) Phnom Penh - by Flos Campi - 03-01-2017, 01:57 PM
RE: Phnom Penh - by theDesigner - 03-02-2017, 11:59 AM
RE: Phnom Penh - by ellajam - 03-02-2017, 02:09 PM
RE: Phnom Penh - by billy - 03-02-2017, 05:32 PM
RE: Phnom Penh - by Flos Campi - 03-03-2017, 12:45 AM
RE: (rape) Phnom Penh - by Lizzie - 03-08-2017, 11:25 AM
RE: (rape) Phnom Penh - by Graca - 03-26-2017, 12:36 AM



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