Rewind (Revision)

[Keith]

Damn this is a keeper Todd. The first time I read this, I wished I had written it, such a simple and clever concept that just works perfectly. Great writing Todd, some comment for consideration, Keith

The chair rises from the floor the nature of the poem makes it hard to find a starting point, this tells us something weird is happening and when linked with the title we are dropped right in the action
and you lower yourself
to sit down again, 
a ripple returning
to the pond’s surface.the metaphor is placed perfectly but it troubled me, I wanted it to say returning to it source or something of that nature, I just don't think the ponds surface works hard enough.
Black smudges of mascara
race backward up your cheeks perfect we are totally with the N now completely clear as to what's going on
to settle around shining eyes—now dry. Shinning eyes puzzled me at first because it implies the N has feelings for her but obviously that's true because we are rewinding
With your fork, you remove 
food from your mouth, and like an artist
reconstruct the unchewed almond-crusted salmon these three lines are dilghtful esp the artist ref, but I'm not sure you needed the garlic line, it just took me away from the moment and the pervious image I didn't need more detail
with garlic crisp potatoes. I unclear
my throat so I cannot say,
“We need to talk.” perfect ending leaves the reader with a sense of deep regret.

~~


Slight revisions from a NaPM thread