The Young Queen (edit #1)

[CRNDLSM]

Definitely some improvements on this edit, I like ekphrastic 

Ekphrastic for creative writing

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Edit #1

She was a stranger to hate,
Coddled since her dawn.
With her elegant gait,
She tread like a fawn. Good rhythm  and flow

Til' he reaches heaven's gate,
He is sworn to her side.
In a suit of steel plate,
He is her shield and her guide. I'd cut the second her here

As the two entered town,
A crowd formed in question. Do crowds form in question? I like the rhyme but preferred the originals but not 'in protest' but 'to protest' because they knew why they were there?  But oppressed was a little forced as a rhyme while the last line of this stanza I think sounds really nice.  But to say the crowd formed 'to question' is also a little obvious.
They shout and mock the crown,
And protest their oppression.

"What has them so hateful?"
The queen asked with dread.
"They are merely ungrateful."
Her guard simply said. This line is filler because if you replaced this line with anything, the quote before would have been said simply

While the guard was distracted,
With the queen in his arms.
A young man had acted,
With intent to do harm.

The guard did not detect,
The man from the crowd. These two lines were explained clearly in the previous stanza, can you combine these two stanzas or add anything new?
When his blade met her neck
Her dress became her shroud.

The guard stood and stared,
For the young queen had died.
And as the people left the square,do they just show up and leave like that when their queen was murdered? Would that there be a little more chaos? How long did people stick around anyways after, it sounds like too horrific an act for the current aftermath.  Just the guard, with the body? Or does he keep staying there?
The guard stayed and cried.

Hope I helped!

Original

She was a stranger to hate,
Coddled since her dawn.
With her elegant gait,
She walked with her brawn.

Til' the reaper calls his name,
He is sworn to her side.
For her death would be his blame,
Safety he would provide.

As the two entered town,
A crowd forms in protest.
They shout and mock the crown,
And quetch of being oppressed.

"Why is it me they resent?"
The queen thought audibly.
"They're only jealous that you're blest."
Her guard said deludingly

With the guard locked on her eyes,
A man emerged from the crowd.
Into her sides went two steel knives,
Her once blue dress became a dark red shroud.

The guard stood in shock,
For the young Queen was reaped.
Soon spread the flock,
And the guard sat in defeat.