03-09-2017, 11:26 AM
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work! You have some really nice points of imagery. Very pretty. I would watch repetition of a few words, but that's really picky. All in all, a few more strong adjectives might give it the punch that really appeals to the emotion that should be felt in this piece. I felt for the speaker, but I think that with the theme I could feel even more! Great work.
