Answer the Wind

[Donald Q.]

I'll work on the rythum.

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I like a happy poem about music, but as Kole has pointed out, you need to tighten the rhythm, and I'd perhaps try to use more concrete imagery.

Also the last two lines sounded a bit over-sexual, although maybe I'm just being childish (It often happens)

Frets, bars, chords, riff, hair blown back, what additional imagery would you add to the poem for a musician?  Also, no sexual overtones intended.  Tell me, what lines are sexual from your perspective?  Thank you for your feedback.

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I'll work on the rhythm.

What I mean is there is little contextual imagery; you are using musical imagery, but little else. From where does the wind blow? Where does the musician play; where is his 'chair'; is this all just solitary, indoors? Why does he not feel 'right at home' until the music plays? I don't need a complete diagram or anything, but just some distinctive ambiance.

As for the sexual overtones, it's probably just because of the stress placed on 'bone'... I can tell you aren't taking the piss, but "I’m worn to the bone, I tuck away my instrument and fall asleep" just seems a tad suggestive.