Misfit Tears Edit #1

[ellajam]

Hi, Hope. While the poem is clear I think it would help if you changed the cliches and thought of some novel ways to express the same thoughts. Some notes below.

I travel down a lonesome road
and call it being one with myself. I like this opening, simple but deep.
I let you in.  I let you see my soul. Cliche.
Cried misfit tears on your pillow
and you still had me. Again, strong and expressive, though "tears on your pillow" rings cliche.
I'd fall down gladly
with hopes that I will land somewhere beautiful. Good thought, you might want to expand on this.
And here I am again.
Getting lost in daytime reveries. Meh on these lines
Kiss me desperately. yes
Tell me you feel the same way I do. cliche
Look into my eyes and undress me. cliche
But sometimes dreams are only dreams.
Nothing more.
So I'll pick my heart up off the floor
and keep walking.

So, these comments may be a bit much for the Novice Workshop but I think with a few cuts and tweaks you could really shine this up. Good luck with it, I hope this helps.