From The Tappan Zee

[RiverNotch]

I've never been to New Yawk, but I've watched Annie Hall and I read Octopus Pie, so I guess I'm qualified. xD

There is a dreamy quality to how all the lines blend into each other, here, with the lack of punctuation. It's....weird. I can't say if it's good weird or bad weird, either -- the way they blend into each other, the way I can mix and match word arrangements, it feels kinda there, sometimes not? But already, lovely, especially the trippy title, and it would be interesting to see this properly punctuated.

FROM THE TAPPAN ZEE 

It’s a dismal shot to that god damn city Just wish this first line wasn't capitalized -- it kinda throws me off the direction the piece really takes, with its lack of punctuation, kinda sets up the argument against the fluidity.
you can hardly see her through the fog
and sometimes you don’t, or never do Eh, since this line is already implied in the earlier, you could do away with the "and".
it depends on how often you’ve crossed
but she looks like she stabs straight
out of the water
like she ascended with exhaust I agree that these three lines need a bit of rewording -- breaking "straight / out of the water" like so just throws me off, especially considering how beautifully strong stab is, and "like she ascended with exhaust" reads a number of words too much. But I do like the "but" -- it's the first enforcement of flowing-in.
she’s a siren with a cigarette Sweet. Sounds like it's taken from a song. 
I know
‘cause I’ve crossed that bridge before
after a while, I quit looking to the side Again, sweet.