4th Edit - Silicon Valley Palettes

[dukealien]

Two Silicon Valley Color Palettes  could title be simplified - "Silicon Valley Palettes" - which flows a bit better IMHO?  "Two" and "Color" are implied
 
A cloud-wisped sky of celestial to tiffany,
thistle and foothills of sienna to coyote,
the shimmering Bay of viridian to sea,
            surround a grassy isle of myrtle to moss,
            brimming with a colony of pelicans−
            each one achromatic white:
            indistinct, impartial, colorless,
            as twinkling stars, sunlight, clear night. "pulsing" for "twinkling?"
 
                        Giant swirly l@llipops,                     
            clownish cruiser bicycles,­­­
M&M-top umbrellas−blue
                        green
            red
yellow−
                        bound glaringly off squat
            specular architecture over a
sprawling synthetic archipelago,
                        raining warm rainbows on
            kaleidoscopic kids−each one a
fractal of chromatic intensity:
                        singular, contrastive, vivid,
             as a private perspective,
desire, fantasy.

Nice revision (see p.s. on posting edits).  Substantially clearer and reads better; also has (to me) a melting, soft-focus quality the original version lacked, appropriate to the subject.

In the first four lines, I find myself slurring each color range phrase as if it were a hyphenated word: "myrtle-to-moss" for example.  If this is the intent, you could actually add hyphens as a hint to readers.  (Maybe also replace "of" there with a comma or colon.)  Just a thought.

"[L]@llipops" is OK, but you might restrain your typographic artistry a bit - line everything up on the left margin and I'll bet you find it reads just as well.  On that note, do read it aloud or - better - get someone else to read it aloud to you.  Best way to find infelicities of rhythm, of which you still have a few IMHO.

The state of the art in posting edits here, at the moment, is to open your original/top post in the thread for full edit, then type or paste the latest revision at the top of the edit window this creates.  Change the title (in a box at the top) to indicate a new edit (for example, "Two Silicon Valley Color Palettes - Edit1"), then go to the top of the older version and type pre verse; next,  go to the very end/bottom and type /pre verse.  (Just like the "quote" tags, but note the space between "pre" and "verse.")  This will hide previous versions but allow readers to click on a "Previous Versions" button to view them for comparison.