4th Edit - Silicon Valley Palettes

[Sparkydashforth]

Hi Mahjong, I think this poem is, or could be very interesting. The theme is a good one, and worth some revision and development.
I agree with much of the previous editorial suggestions made by dukeeallen, so will not belabor those aspects.
My comments are more subjective and reflect a personal reaction, so take them as you find them.

A Silicon Valley Color Scheme; Or a Sop to Goethe
 
Under the cloud-wisped sky of celestial to Jordy;  .....I think this 'jordy' reference lays to much of a burden on the not very 'hip' reader like me.
Between the thistle and foothills of sienna to coyote;...........maybe after this line go straight to what is between?
Upon the shimmering Bay of viridian to sea;...........I think the 'upon' feels very old school here.
There floats a grassy islet of myrtle to moss, ................how about myrtle and moss?
Brimming with a colony of pelicans--each one
            Achromatic white:...................................I would cut 'brimming' but I'm not a pelican expert - do they brim like gulls for instance?
The only pelicans I am slightly familiar with are the ones in Florida, and they seem to come in all shades of grey and brown.
Indistinct, impartial, and colorless,
Just like the stars, sunlight, and dark night................Just my subjective call, but I would cut 'sunlight and the dark, for the point is made already.
 
Clownish cruiser bicycles­­­−yellow, blue, green; .................I can see all those tech-types on their clown bikes!
M&M-top umbrellas−blue, red, yellow; ...................Silicone Valley in some outward ways does display a juvenile mien, and manner. 
Giant swirly lollipops−green, yellow, red;
            Rainbow optics ornamenting
The sprawling archipelago of specular architecture,................I'm not sure where we are here, but I have never visited....so
Reflecting gayly the ceaseless swarm of kaleidoscopic
            Kids−each one a fractal of chromatic intensity: ........Just my opinion but I would suggest 'chromatic fantasy' might be more apt.
Singular, contrastive, and vivid,
Just like a perspective, a desire, or a fantasy..............  Yes, you get to the 'fantasy' aspect here. Maybe devolpoe the fantasy theme here
and then end poem.
 
This is to say it like I see it, or not. 
But what am I to make of it?
                   Pelicans
                                           Can't
                                                             Hide
Behind
                   Achromatic
                                            White.

I live in Ohio and feel very far away from the setting of this poem. Of course this is not the poets fault. I do think though that
you place too great an expectation of recognition on the general reader. That is where I think you should focus your attention
on the new edit.  Lead the reader into the scene and locality in a more inclusive way.