12-04-2016, 12:55 AM
Thanks and acknowledgement: many thanks for the new critiques.
@sparkydashforth - I may be over-impressed with that alternate Valhalla: something to think about or merge.
@rivernotch - Must think about pacing in the wrapper poem, words as well as punctuation. Not sure now how I want the reader to pace it! In the inset stanzas, my idea is mother and child as one single combatant against all obstacles, not mother against child... needs to be re-worded to remove abortion and mutual antagonism from the mix. "Who died" is certainly correct - thanks for that and all other comments.
Just back from vac, edit could take some time.
@sparkydashforth - I may be over-impressed with that alternate Valhalla: something to think about or merge.
@rivernotch - Must think about pacing in the wrapper poem, words as well as punctuation. Not sure now how I want the reader to pace it! In the inset stanzas, my idea is mother and child as one single combatant against all obstacles, not mother against child... needs to be re-worded to remove abortion and mutual antagonism from the mix. "Who died" is certainly correct - thanks for that and all other comments.
Just back from vac, edit could take some time.
Non-practicing atheist