Nightmares and the Safety of Sunrise

[Todd]

Hi Cadence,

Welcome to the site! 

What drew me in mostly was your excellent title.

Let me give you some comments below.

Nightmares and the Safety of Sunlight

I am still burned and fearing the flame that nearly torched my existence. --There are a few too many fire references in the opening line for my taste. The repetition doesn't seem to make the line stronger. It instead tends to weigh it down. I also wonder when I consider the title, this doesn't have a nightmare sense to it. The sunlight is actually the part of the title that I would equate with fire. If I made that connection then I might say that the flame that the speaker fears is the revelation that comes when the illusions of night are burned away in the morning. I don't think that's entirely your intent here, though.

She is like fire in the soul and you go back to heat your hands every time my winter skin gets to be too much. --The warming the hands, the winter skin parts are all good. I wonder though if you could make this less static. She is... Byron for instance had "She walks in beauty, like the night." Is there something the she of this poem could do or a way she could act that drives us from just the flat sense of her existence?

Sipping her in like cocoa, mumbling through chattering lips how you hate these icy months. --I like the imagery of the first phrase. There are moments where less is more would help you.  The first phrase is great. The second two phrases less so in my opinion.

But who are you again, dear? 

You look like you and sound like you, but what has become of your heart? 

Surely this dream has compared you to another past work of art. 

An ex lover with wondering green eyes, swinging ways, and a broken smile I believed every time. 

These dreams have a funny way of making me miserable, 

taunting me to relive every heartbreak --Everything from "But who are you... to here" feels like it loses its way. This has gotten more introspective and has lost its sipping cocoa imagery. 

and painting your beautiful face on the sins of thieves. --I don't really understand sins of thieves in the context but beautiful face is a shorthand throwaway phrase.

So, great title. Interesting enough to read. I'd consider going further with your imagery. I don't want to go to over the top with my comments in novice so I'll leave it at that. I hope some of this is helpful in some way.

Best,

Todd