Exertion's End

[esh12]

The dulcet waves met my ears at a distance,
rising in a soft crescendo as our bikes approached the sea
on a root strewn path. 

We chose the toughest route, testing the tires, 
attacking the pedals, and ignoring the anguish
in a bellicose frenzy up the bosky incline. I like the rhythm of this stanza. It expresses the action that you’re describing. You would add more of an edge if you remove the ‘and’ conjunction. 

I wonder if ‘ignoring’ is the best way to describe your relationship with your anguish. The word signals indifference and veers from the attitude of resoluteness that you portray in this stanza (the attitude that wins you the salt air’s affection in the end).

My eyes stung with sweat 
as we began the breakneck descent 
down the hills rear end. Removing ‘as’ would improve this stanza in my opinion. ‘As’ is a simple juxtaposition, and for this why not simply juxtapose the two clauses, no need for a conjunction? Or you might expand on the relationship between the two - how is the stinging of your eyes connected with your descent? There is an interplay here between your private experience (“my eyes”) and your belonging to the larger ‘we’. That would be interesting to articulate as well. 

When we burst from the trees, the salt air kissed my lungs,
and the ocean cold made us squeal 
before a tired quiet fell upon us,
and we heard the ocean speak.

You create a fascinating interplay between three subjects throughout your poem: your “I”, portrayed as a receptive body, experiencing the actions of nature and the effects of collective striving (“my ears”, “my eyes”, “my lungs”); the “we”, the human subject actively confronting nature through choice and exertion; and nature itself in its various manifestations (“dulcet waves”, “salt air”, “ocean cold”). Nature for you is not an indifferent, impersonal force. It rewards you for your striving with a kiss and with a message. It’s as if it wants to be seduced and won. I wonder what you heard.