09-28-2016, 11:27 PM
Edit posted, with very very minor changes -- the ones tectak suggested. Thanks for the compliments, the feedback, the prompt, and the great wealth of advice and notes and stuff that led to this piece's incarnation. Anyway, notes.
"as" -- worked I think to establish Giulietta's voice.
the confusing voices thing -- i think i wrote this as i was reading Gluck's Meadowlands, so maybe I can further use her device, indent Giorgio's speech? though that might ruin the numbering, which is supposed to show that the two voices are speaking on different stages, between long successive periods of time. and i suppose the actors eventually clear up later?
inverting the lines in 3 -- i'll have to mull over that one even more. i get the whole lining up thing -- i suppose i've just gotten used to the rhythm of those opening stanzas.
the removable todger dream -- based on an actual dream i had! *shivers*
"for" -- i think it is. i mean, the painting was specifically what they went there for, and not really for anything else...maybe "to see", or pertinent variations thereon?
"refused" -- as in, he moved Giulietta's new family to a house by the sea anyway. and with the movie being set on a house by the sea, and with Giulietta's problem being introduced by a vision by the sea (that whole Neptune's barge thing being only my interpretation, Fellini is a demigod)...
"farce" -- i don't think that element is bathos at all -- it's more my feeble (but apparently effective?) way of distracting the audience from the Gluck-levels of Gothic the Aeneid reference reaches. xD
the last two stanzas -- maybe? those two stanzas practically wrote themselves: they were scenes from the movie. again, Fellini is a demigod, and most of the piece is really his work.
Genre and Platonic -- i don't know what that is. :S
Again, thanks for the everything!
"as" -- worked I think to establish Giulietta's voice.
the confusing voices thing -- i think i wrote this as i was reading Gluck's Meadowlands, so maybe I can further use her device, indent Giorgio's speech? though that might ruin the numbering, which is supposed to show that the two voices are speaking on different stages, between long successive periods of time. and i suppose the actors eventually clear up later?
inverting the lines in 3 -- i'll have to mull over that one even more. i get the whole lining up thing -- i suppose i've just gotten used to the rhythm of those opening stanzas.
the removable todger dream -- based on an actual dream i had! *shivers*
"for" -- i think it is. i mean, the painting was specifically what they went there for, and not really for anything else...maybe "to see", or pertinent variations thereon?
"refused" -- as in, he moved Giulietta's new family to a house by the sea anyway. and with the movie being set on a house by the sea, and with Giulietta's problem being introduced by a vision by the sea (that whole Neptune's barge thing being only my interpretation, Fellini is a demigod)...
"farce" -- i don't think that element is bathos at all -- it's more my feeble (but apparently effective?) way of distracting the audience from the Gluck-levels of Gothic the Aeneid reference reaches. xD
the last two stanzas -- maybe? those two stanzas practically wrote themselves: they were scenes from the movie. again, Fellini is a demigod, and most of the piece is really his work.
Genre and Platonic -- i don't know what that is. :S
Again, thanks for the everything!