Our Love is Anywhere *second edit*

[HaleINthewind]

***Edit***

I want to watch shadows cast by clouds
dance on colossal mountains.
I want to feel warm wind on my skin
like your soft exhale on my neck.
I want to be the cards you count on
when desperation is all that remains.
 
I want to sleep with the lights on
because our love never sleeps.
I want to treasure paint and canvas
that looks back at me with honest eyes.
I want to be the soft song you hear
as you drift from dream to dream
 
I want to learn a foreign tongue,
to find another way to share our love.
I want to change our names and travel,
our true identities could be our secret.
I want my only truth to be you,
and my only lie to be an end.
 
I want to barely make ends meet,
counting quarters from the couch.
I want to live off of ramen noodles,
because your warmth is all I need.
I want to dumpster dive every Sunday,
I’m prepared to take that leap.
 
I want our love up close and personal,
our eyes locked and bodies touching.
I want to be where you are, wherever you are.
because when we are together we are infinite.
But I will love you from the greatest distance,
when your heart isn’t lying in bed next to mine.
 
Love is wherever we are.

*****Original*****

I want to watch the shadows cast by clouds 
dance on the mountains.
I want to feel the warm wind on my skin
like your soft exhale on my neck.
I want to be the cards you count on
when desperation is all that remains.

I want to sleep with the lights on
because our love never sleeps.
I want to treasure the paint and canvas ( I really love this bit, a potent image to me  anyway)
that looks back at me with honest eyes.
I want to be the soft song you hear
as you drift from dream to dream

I want to learn a foreign tongue,
to find another way to share our love.
I want to change our names and travel,
our true identities could be our secret.
I want my only truth to be you,
and my only lie to be an end.

I want to barely make ends meet,
counting quarters from the couch.
I want to live off of ramen noodles,
because warmth is all I really need.
I want to dumpster dive every Sunday,
I’m ready to take that leap, with you

I want our love to be up close and personal,
our eyes locked and our bodies touching.
I want to be where you are, wherever you are.
because when we are together I feel infinite.
But I will love you from the greatest distance,
because your heart never seems to be very far.

Love is wherever we are.

***Your advice is always appreciated! Thank you for your time and energy.

Operadiva, This poem to me reads much more smoothly, it seems you got ride of some of the excess and the ending is much more clear now. I thoroughly enjoy reading this. It is not overly complicated and to the point, and it feels like  a sweet daydream to me. The only thing I could maybe says is S3 L 6 the and of, " and my only lie to be an end," may be unneeded. Maybe someone with more technical knowledge will see something, but through my beginner eyes I see a clean well written poem. Thanks for being so quick with an edit it is fun watching the metamorphosis from the outside.