Our Love is Anywhere *second edit*

[LunaDeLore]

I want to watch the shadows cast by clouds 
dance on the mountains.
I want to feel the warm wind on my skin
like your soft exhale on my neck.
I want to be the cards you count on
when desperation is all that remains.

I want to sleep with the lights on
because our love never sleeps.
I want to treasure the paint and canvas
that looks back at me with honest eyes.
I want to be the soft song you hear
as you drift from dream to dream

I want to learn a foreign tongue,
to find another way to share our love.
I want to change our names and travel,
our true identities could be our secret.
I want my only truth to be you,
and my only lie to be an end.

I want to barely make ends meet,
counting quarters from the couch.
I want to live off of ramen noodles,
because warmth is all I really need.
I want to dumpster dive every Sunday,
I’m ready to take that leap, with you

I want our love to be up close and personal,
our eyes locked and our bodies touching.
I want to be where you are, wherever you are.
because when we are together I feel infinite.
But I will love you from the greatest distance,
because your heart never seems to be very far.

Love is wherever we are.

***Your advice is always appreciated! Thank you for your time and energy.

operadiva,

When reading this poem I felt restricted. For example;  L1 of S1 you're telling me that you want to watch "the shadows" when it would flow so freely
without "the". 

And in L6 of S5 you've wrote: your heart seems to be very far  and to be  isn't needed to achieve your ending. Your heart never seems very far works fine.

My suggestion for revision is to go back through the poem, find areas where you've used be, that, really, etc  and see what happens when you take them out.

Good work.

Luna