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[rayheinrich]

Thank you all for this great feedback, really overwhelmingly helpful response to the first poem I've posted here! My only shame being my spelling mistake you all noticed, whoops.

I'm currently working on some edits and looking forward to presenting it again. Cheers!

    You're entirely welcome.  (Not that I was much help, but I'm always willing to accept thanks.)

    And don't forget to take advantage of our brand new button for hiding, while still saving, previous versions.
    (Keeping previous versions posted is a custom in "Serious Workshopping" because it reduces later critiquers' confusion.)

    Here it is, click on it:

here's what you type in to get it to work:     ignore "code:", don't type it in.

Code:

[pre verse]

your previous version
gets pasted in
here

your previous previous version
gets pasted in
here

[/pre verse]