09-13-2016, 02:08 AM
Hi,
The poem is a little confusing to me in some of the imagery. I agree with most all the other critiques here. What is the meaning of the line
"I'm a shiny gun that won't shoot?"
I did identify myself and my husband in much of the poem so it is definitely relatable. I think you're working with a good concept.
My favorite line:
I keep my love for boozing near,
And act out your favorite scene.
The poem is a little confusing to me in some of the imagery. I agree with most all the other critiques here. What is the meaning of the line
"I'm a shiny gun that won't shoot?"
I did identify myself and my husband in much of the poem so it is definitely relatable. I think you're working with a good concept.
My favorite line:
I keep my love for boozing near,
And act out your favorite scene.
"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." - David Carradine