09-12-2016, 02:30 AM
Thank you for your feedback. I have realized that I do write in a lot of abstraction. I believe that it is a mechanism to protect myself, in anonymity. I am going to look into your suggestions for possible revisions AND certainly future poems! This one was written feb 2015, after an actual recurring dream.
(09-12-2016, 02:18 AM)kolemath Wrote: Good final line. The shift to rhyme works as it seems to comment on the dream, shift in content ya know. A lot of abstraction and cliche. The root lines work. Good metaphor. Use that method of writing as a strategy for revising the poem?
Thanks for sharing
"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." - David Carradine