Chosen Losses

[Elizazile]

Casting off
The weight that eases my aches
Setting down
The chair that holds half my weight
Dislocating
The small skylight to my shadowy home;
This is the investment I am told I must make
For less of the same
(Whatever that may mean)
And for brighter somedays.
Now is where
Something like faith kicks in
As, through the gaping hole
My living room begins to fill
With rain
And blustering winds
And the hurricanes that chase
The rays of light
That find me alone
In my soft old armchair
In the corner.

[Todd]

Hi Elizazile, this is an interesting piece. My interpretations of it may be off. I will give you a basic critique per the forum but I'm mostly going to give you an interpretation of how I'm taking your content so that you can see if it is conveying at least to one reader. Here goes.

We start with the title: Chosen Losses. So this is a loss that the speaker chooses. This is not accidental or fate. It is volitional.

Casting off--Versatile phrase as it also can imply a boat leaving shore. In this case, it means something different but both ideas seem to fit your theme.
The weight that eases my aches--We think a bad partner as an anchor or a weight so the idea of casting off a weight is a chosen loss of sorts. Now what I find interesting is how you've phrased this. Normally casting off the weight, holding no weight, would ease the ache of your muscles. The speaker is saying that they are casting off the very weight that causes them relief. It's taking the idea slightly at a slant.
Setting down
The chair that holds half my weight--I keep thinking that this in reference to lovers when they feel completed by the other and the half isn't a literal measuring of weight but the idea of being torn in half and losing some crucial person (i.e., my better half sort of idea).
Dislocating
The small skylight to my shadowy home;--I take this as a metaphor for the state of mind of the speaker. There is one small aperture that can allow light but they sit in a shadowy home. 
This is the investment I am told I must make--So, this investment is unlikely the opening of a skylight. It's an addition by subtraction investment where they are assured or assure themselves that they are better without this other person.
For less of the same--favorite line. Tight, economical and plays what an investment is going to do. The speaker is at odds with a choice that's supposed to add to their well-being by taking something away.
(Whatever that may mean)--I don't know if the parenthetical aside is necessary--it isn't awful just possibly unneeded.
And for brighter somedays.
Now is where --I think when instead of where
Something like faith kicks in
As, through the gaping hole
My living room begins to fill
With rain
And blustering winds
And the hurricanes that chase--faith even though the world reflects the catastrophic mood.
The rays of light---I love the idea of chase the rays of light
That find me alone--yes 
In my soft old armchair
In the corner.

Lovely poem. I know the comments were a little more than I'd like to give in Basic. I tried to confine most of them though to interpretation and a few to suggestions. I hope some of it helps.

Best,

Todd

[Richard]

Hello Elizazile.
I found some of the language use in this poem interesting enough to make me stop and try to figure out your main idea (of course, my interpretation of it). I particularly liked:

This is the investment I am told I must make
For less of the same
(Whatever that may mean)
And for brighter somedays.

These lines seem like some sort of commentary on modern society, and I wonder if this poem would benefit from exploring ideas like this more.

My biggest issue with your poem is that I am still uncertain if it's really about a house. Could the skylight be symbolic for something to do with religious beliefs? I sort of get that meaning because you mention faith in your poem as well. If that is the case, then what does all the weather imagery mean in terms of that symbol?

My point is that the overall meaning of your poem seems a bit unclear. Sometimes less is more, and may be you should consider cleaning up some of the imagery and wording, so the poem's message is clearer. For example, why do you describe the winds as “blustering?” Overall, I'd look forward to seeing where you take this poem from here.

Keep writing,
Richard

[Elizazile]

Hi, thank you so much for your detailed response. Your interpretation was pretty much spot on - I was trying to invoke the ending of a relationship that has caused disproportionate pain/stress despite also providing support. However, maybe I could stand to make that a tiny bit more explicit ! Thanks again for the feedback

Hi Elizazile, this is an interesting piece. My interpretations of it may be off. I will give you a basic critique per the forum but I'm mostly going to give you an interpretation of how I'm taking your content so that you can see if it is conveying at least to one reader. Here goes.

We start with the title: Chosen Losses. So this is a loss that the speaker chooses. This is not accidental or fate. It is volitional.

Casting off--Versatile phrase as it also can imply a boat leaving shore. In this case, it means something different but both ideas seem to fit your theme.
The weight that eases my aches--We think a bad partner as an anchor or a weight so the idea of casting off a weight is a chosen loss of sorts. Now what I find interesting is how you've phrased this. Normally casting off the weight, holding no weight, would ease the ache of your muscles. The speaker is saying that they are casting off the very weight that causes them relief. It's taking the idea slightly at a slant.
Setting down
The chair that holds half my weight--I keep thinking that this in reference to lovers when they feel completed by the other and the half isn't a literal measuring of weight but the idea of being torn in half and losing some crucial person (i.e., my better half sort of idea).
Dislocating
The small skylight to my shadowy home;--I take this as a metaphor for the state of mind of the speaker. There is one small aperture that can allow light but they sit in a shadowy home. 
This is the investment I am told I must make--So, this investment is unlikely the opening of a skylight. It's an addition by subtraction investment where they are assured or assure themselves that they are better without this other person.
For less of the same--favorite line. Tight, economical and plays what an investment is going to do. The speaker is at odds with a choice that's supposed to add to their well-being by taking something away.
(Whatever that may mean)--I don't know if the parenthetical aside is necessary--it isn't awful just possibly unneeded.
And for brighter somedays.
Now is where --I think when instead of where
Something like faith kicks in
As, through the gaping hole
My living room begins to fill
With rain
And blustering winds
And the hurricanes that chase--faith even though the world reflects the catastrophic mood.
The rays of light---I love the idea of chase the rays of light
That find me alone--yes 
In my soft old armchair
In the corner.

Lovely poem. I know the comments were a little more than I'd like to give in Basic. I tried to confine most of them though to interpretation and a few to suggestions. I hope some of it helps.

Best,

Todd

[burrealist]

Casting off If you give some detail about what is being casted, I think that will help.
The weight that eases my aches Oh, I didn't know the first line was leading into this second one. It took a couple read-overs for me. Maybe you can fuse some of the lines throughout the whole piece, make it more solid.
Setting down
The chair that holds half my weight 
Dislocating
The small skylight to my shadowy home; I thought a part of that weak chair mentioned was going be dislocated. There's nothing wrong with going in unexpected directions.
This is the investment I am told I must make
For less of the same
(Whatever that may mean)
And for brighter somedays.
Now is where Where is now?
Something like faith kicks in
As, through the gaping hole
My living room begins to fill
With rain
And blustering winds
And the hurricanes that chase I was told that rainstorms almost always symbolize a character's change. They also symbolize hardship and crying, for that matter.
The rays of light
That find me alone
In my soft old armchair 
In the corner.

My favorite part was the description of the storm whirling through your home. With more imagery like that, this piece will really thrive. Good work!

[LunaDeLore]

Casting off
The weight that eases my aches  the weight easing my aches
Setting down
The chair that holds half my weight  holding half my weight
Dislocating
The small skylight to my shadowy home;
This is the investment I am told I must make
For less of the same
(Whatever that may mean) it means
And for brighter somedays.
Now is where when
Something like faith kicks in
As, through the gaping hole
My living room begins to fill
With rain
And blustering winds
And the hurricanes that chase
The rays of light
That find me alone
In my soft old armchair ---- I'd suggest either using soft or old but not both; too much description.
In the corner.

I read your poem and highlighted a few problem areas others may have discussed in more detail. Nevertheless, I like what you're trying to do but I think if you read over everyone's comments and take these suggestions into consideration, you'll have a nice revision to post.

Keep writing.

Luna

[nibbed]

Hi Elizazile. Welcome here!
Your poem was very easy to read. I had a different interpretation,
though it also involved a sort of loneliness. Now that I know the intent
I will try critique, though I'm not sure it needs much work.


Casting off
The weight that eases my aches
Setting down
The chair that holds half my weight                          
Dislocating                                                                  
The small skylight to my shadowy home;
This is the investment I am told I must make
For less of the same
(Whatever that may mean)
And for brighter somedays.
Now is where
Something like faith kicks in
As, through the gaping hole
My living room begins to fill
With rain
And blustering winds
And the hurricanes that chase
The rays of light
That find me alone
In my soft old armchair
In the corner.

The only suggestion I can give is dive in full blast with punctuation or eliminate it completely.
Also, maybe work with the idea of stanzaic form, giving divide to each expression,
but that may not be your style and I may only be suggesting it because that is where I lean.
Best Wishes!

[Nyph]

Hi Elizazile, I hope my feedback will be helpfull you since it is the first one I write .

I really like the absence of a structure because in your poem you talk about the uncertainty of what to do (in line 7 "I am told I must make... Whatever that may mean"). In my opinion this shows that the person in the poem is not sure how to get hold of the situation and a poem with no structure is exactly that, if there is no structure you can't just grab it you first have to understand it to get hold of it.

I could not figure out an interpretations all on my own though, this may be because my mother tongue is german but I would maybe divide the poem in two parts (from beginning to line 10 " and for brighter somedays." and from there on the the end) to underline the turning point and to make it easier to understand.

I hope this helps you. Best wishes!