To An Addict (edit shem, JDofing)
#18
'Certainly enough times 
to create a necklace large enough to supply 
a tribe of cannibals.'

I like this wit, but three lines seems too many for the joke and the line breaks make it feel a bit labored
try to make it two lines, something like

'Certainly enough times to create a necklace,
to feed a tribe of cannibals.'
 
To me that would be more succinct and also hits harder.
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Messages In This Thread
To An Addict (edit shem, JDofing) - by Erthona - 07-16-2016, 04:18 AM
RE: To An Addict - by shemthepenman - 07-16-2016, 05:04 AM
RE: To An Addict - by Hennessy473 - 07-16-2016, 01:58 PM
RE: To An Addict - by Erthona - 07-18-2016, 01:14 AM
RE: To An Addict - by shemthepenman - 07-18-2016, 01:39 PM
RE: To An Addict (edit shem, JDofing) - by GordonBillett - 08-05-2016, 10:27 AM
RE: To An Addict (edit shem, JDofing) - by surrealHead - 08-29-2016, 06:37 PM
RE: To An Addict (edit shem, JDofing) - by j.l.dean - 09-07-2016, 10:49 AM
RE: To An Addict (edit shem, JDofing) - by fred.fp - 09-09-2016, 11:21 AM
RE: To An Addict (edit shem, JDofing) - by Donald Q. - 09-09-2016, 08:43 PM



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