Winds of Anger

[D.MYST]

"The hot winds of anger
blow across the frigid landscape.
Leaving only a desert
where flowers once grew."

If the landscape is "frigid" to begin with, then nothing every grew there to begin with.

It would make more sense to say:

""The hot winds of anger
blow across the fertile landscape."

Overall, one could drop about two thirds of this and come up with a better poem.
___________________________________________________________________________
"The hot winds of anger
blow across the frigid fertile landscape.
Leaving only a desert
where flowers once grew.

Gone are the mighty oaks.
Gone are the gentle lilies.
Gone, the song birds
and the soaring eagles.

Deserted oasis;
poisoned waters;
parched bleached bones
of the errant nomads.

Shimmers of promise,
mirages of hope,
proven elusive
on the arid horizon.

Travelers beware.
Drink not too deeply.   (Do not drink)
What seems sweet to the tongue
may will sour in the belly."

____________________________________

As there is no rhythmic quality, this begins to read like a laundry list fairly quickly.

Best,

dale

I cosign these suggestions! Yes a lot of times poems are ten times better when they are cut in half. A lot of us do not realize how repetitive things can become in poems, how we need to trim the fat.