No Cope to Hope
#4
(08-31-2016, 11:36 AM)djNasty Wrote:  I'm a sapling with deep roots,
Half grown and half aware.
I'm a shiny gun that won't shoot.
I’m a feather in the air.

I'm a rebel with a soft heart,
Teetering on the edge,
Dreaming is my lost art, but
I’m too indecisive to go to bed.

Sometimes I can’t handle a thing,
No matter what is true.
Self-flagellation tends to cling,
Been stoned for a year or two.

I have masks for every occasion,
I add one every week,
And a knack for fornication,
But my love is yours to keep.

I'll tell you what you want to hear
And nothing in between.
I keep my love for boozing near,
And act out your favorite scene.

My mouth is a violent hair trigger.
Don’t worry I’m on your side.
And as my confidence grows bigger,
I’ll run out of things to hide.

I’m scared of being too clever,
And lose sight of you and me.
I’m two steps in front of the mirror
And don’t recognize what I see.
I see a poem about a person who is still growing and trying to find himself.  Maybe he loved a girl but has gone away to school and is finding independence in partying and sleeping around because it's fun.  It sounds like he doesn't reveal his true, more tender-hearted self, to many people; Preferring rather to test out different masks on different people.    I think you could test out writing a poem about one aspect of yourself and add interesting imagery to it.  The poem you've got here was probably a cathartic write for you because you were  spilling yourself out onto paper, but try zoning in and not being so broad.  Also try not to be so "this has to rhyme" in order for it to sound right.  I think you've got good potential.
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Messages In This Thread
No Cope to Hope - by djNasty - 08-31-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by rowens - 08-31-2016, 01:31 PM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by cvanshelton - 09-01-2016, 02:26 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by HopeVictoria56 - 09-01-2016, 04:27 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by maximuswolf - 09-01-2016, 09:20 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by j.l.dean - 09-06-2016, 05:47 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by operadiva - 09-11-2016, 08:40 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by 89layers - 09-13-2016, 02:08 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by 3zu - 09-14-2016, 04:35 AM
RE: No Cope to Hope - by FilthyDeluxe - 09-25-2016, 11:36 PM



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