08-30-2016, 08:13 AM
Oooooh, I flippin love this. When I read it love the beat on the middle lines...The rhythm ..that's how it is in my head. I wouldn't change anything...except in stanza 4 'then to now/ is how much time' it feels a little wrong...can you play around with it? Reword it? Say the same thing with slightly different words?
That's it. Otherwise, I really dig it
Good luck, V
That's it. Otherwise, I really dig it
Good luck, V
"Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?" -Vicomte de Valmont, Dangerous Liasons