Four Years Old

[Lizzie]

lizzie, the edited version is pretty solid. Some thoughts below. It's never over, is it?  Feck, that's the truth isn't it  I read somewhere that works of art are never really finished, they are just abandoned.
Edit 2

I remember afternoons and light. ....too many poems about childhood start with 'I remember'. Something like 'through afternoon light' or 'through afternoons and light' would be ever so slightly diffferent. -- good point.
The white wardrobe played
hide-and-seek with me
and my water-filled baton
spun me weightless
as purple glitter. ...I don't know what a water-filled baton is and can't connect glitter and weightlessness, but the lines sound nice. -- yeah, I'll work on this.
The concrete jungle-gym
held me on its shoulders
and showed me a playground
with children erased. ...this is a lovely, lovely image. -- hooray! These were the only brand new lines with this edit, and I was hoping they worked.
My brother went away
to school each day ...the sudden rhyme here sound jarring. Also, these are a couple of rather bland lines. -- ok, I'll see if I can couch that rhyme a little better.
and mom did dishes in silence.
She was a tree whose leaves were green ... I would prefer to have a line between 'slience' and 'she was'. In your earlier versions, you had 'inaccessible', and maybe having '...silence. / Inaccessible, like a tree / whose leaves were green / only at the top'. However, even then, I find the emotional twist at the end disturbing - it upsets the calm, zen-like feel of the rest of the poem. But not bad. -- this makes me smile. I'm always upsetting people's zen! Just feels like a bit of me coming through
only at the very top.

Thanks so much for the input, as always. I think the final version will be a mishmash between this one and the previous version.