08-27-2016, 08:01 PM
Edit 2: I decided to go back to the original and rework the poem as one, I think this represents more of what I was aiming at. Thanks for all the feedback and comments, I'm eager to hear what you all think of the rewrite!
Wings
You were there, I heard you.
Subtle and soft at my back,
branches barren as I dared to glimpse.
Creeping into the corners of my life,
a cooling doubt on my days
never fully formed, you'd spy.
Now you've come to the light.
Your glistening feathers seen by all.
You are the crow come to make claim and you seek shadows no more.
In me though, you find something new.
You will not take me in a fight;
I go on my own, with choice.
You may carry me home,
but I will take you with me first
through what remains of this fragile life.
I do not mind the scars you will bring,
the beating of your wings or
the cackle at my back as you sing.
This life is mine before yours.
I will carry you on my shoulder
and show you the hope even you cannot cease.
We will go together one day,
carried gently and softly away
by the drum beat of your outstretched wings.
Original: Wings
You were there, I heard you,
Subtle and soft at my back,
Leaving the branches barren just as I dare to glimpse.
Creeping into the smallest corners of my life
Casting a cooling doubt on my days
But never fully realized, you'd sulk.
And now you've come to the light,
your glistening feathers to be seen by all.
You are the crow come to make claim and you seek shadows no more.
But you find something new here.
You will not take me in a fight.
I go on my own, I go with choice.
You may carry me home,
But I will take you with me first
through what remains of this life.
I do not mind the scars you will bring
I do not mind the stolen glances you will earn
I do not mind the beating of your wings or the crackle at my back as you sing.
This life is mine, before yours, and I will live it.
I will carry you, as a friend, and show you the love and the light,
and the hope that even your wings cannot stop.
And we will go together one day,
not as captor, but guide
to be carried gently and softly away
By the stillness of your wings.
Wings
You were there, I heard you.
Subtle and soft at my back,
branches barren as I dared to glimpse.
Creeping into the corners of my life,
a cooling doubt on my days
never fully formed, you'd spy.
Now you've come to the light.
Your glistening feathers seen by all.
You are the crow come to make claim and you seek shadows no more.
In me though, you find something new.
You will not take me in a fight;
I go on my own, with choice.
You may carry me home,
but I will take you with me first
through what remains of this fragile life.
I do not mind the scars you will bring,
the beating of your wings or
the cackle at my back as you sing.
This life is mine before yours.
I will carry you on my shoulder
and show you the hope even you cannot cease.
We will go together one day,
carried gently and softly away
by the drum beat of your outstretched wings.
Original: Wings
You were there, I heard you,
Subtle and soft at my back,
Leaving the branches barren just as I dare to glimpse.
Creeping into the smallest corners of my life
Casting a cooling doubt on my days
But never fully realized, you'd sulk.
And now you've come to the light,
your glistening feathers to be seen by all.
You are the crow come to make claim and you seek shadows no more.
But you find something new here.
You will not take me in a fight.
I go on my own, I go with choice.
You may carry me home,
But I will take you with me first
through what remains of this life.
I do not mind the scars you will bring
I do not mind the stolen glances you will earn
I do not mind the beating of your wings or the crackle at my back as you sing.
This life is mine, before yours, and I will live it.
I will carry you, as a friend, and show you the love and the light,
and the hope that even your wings cannot stop.
And we will go together one day,
not as captor, but guide
to be carried gently and softly away
By the stillness of your wings.
