Four Years Old

[Achebe]

lizzie, the edited version is pretty solid. Some thoughts below. It's never over, is it? 

Edit 2

I remember afternoons and light. ....too many poems about childhood start with 'I remember'. Something like 'through afternoon light' or 'through afternoons and light' would be ever so slightly diffferent.
The white wardrobe played
hide-and-seek with me
and my water-filled baton
spun me weightless
as purple glitter. ...I don't know what a water-filled baton is and can't connect glitter and weightlessness, but the lines sound nice. 
The concrete jungle-gym
held me on its shoulders
and showed me a playground
with children erased. ...this is a lovely, lovely image. 
My brother went away
to school each day ...the sudden rhyme here sound jarring. Also, these are a couple of rather bland lines.
and mom did dishes in silence.
She was a tree whose leaves were green ... I would prefer to have a line between 'slience' and 'she was'. In your earlier versions, you had 'inaccessible', and maybe having '...silence. / Inaccessible, like a tree / whose leaves were green / only at the top'. However, even then, I find the emotional twist at the end disturbing - it upsets the calm, zen-like feel of the rest of the poem. But not bad.
only at the very top.

---

Edit 1

I remember the afternoons and the light.
The white wardrobe would play
hide-and-seek with me as I climbed
in and out. My water-filled baton
spun me until I felt weightless
as the purple glitter inside.

The concrete jungle-gym
would hold me on its shoulders
and show me a playground
peopled as after the rapture.

My brother would go away
to school and mom would do dishes in silence.
She was a tree whose leaves were green
only at the very top.

---

Original version:

I remember the afternoons and the light
of my favorite things –
my white wardrobe that would play
hide-and-seek with me as I climbed
in and out, and my water-filled baton
that made me weightless
as the purple glitter inside.
I'd fixate on it for five
minutes or an hour, maybe.

I'd watch Sesame Street,
Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood.
Sesame Street was fun,
Mr. Rodger was company.

My brother would go away
each day to school and my mom
would do dishes in silence.
She was an inaccessibility,
a tree whose leaves were green
only at the very top.