From Youth to Youth(Edit 1)

[wipmp]

Edit 1

I stood there like a boy,
in reality I am
standing at the edge of a murky ditch
debating whether to jump

I hesitantly sit
on a blood stained bench
my own blood dressing me
next to a killer, a thief
in pre-book one
impatiently waiting to go up

I fondly reminisce
how I played in that ditch
shamelessly muddy,
my mother would scream how I make her worry
she'd say "son! The ditch is for dirt and ditch-diggers,"
I'd say "but mom there's tadpoles,"
No matter what she said
I wouldn't listen.

I grew up into a tadpole that night, - This metaphor could be stronger if it were more clear what you were before you "grew up into a tadpole".  Were you a man or a boy?
reborn in a new kind of ditch
when they told me to strip
lift my nutsack, now cough,
when they gave me a jumpsuit
double XL for a large,
when I carried my life in a knapsack
up an elevator with no buttons,
when I stood outside the glass wall penetrated
by looking eyes of childish freedom. – It is not clear to me what glass wall or whether you are inside or outside.

They'd say "wassup dog,
you bang?" I met a tadpole:
Panda Locs East Side Fresno
was his full name.
I wondered what kind of man
chose such a name,
what kind of name he would've chosen
had he not been a tadpole.
As he rushed into battle – It is not clear to me what battle he rushed into.
I put my thoughts aside
and let hands collide.

30 days in the ditch passes quick for a tadpole,
I trade a jumpsuit for my name
with the cut of a wristband I'm free
to be a tadpole or frog,
I daydream of kissing a princess,
transforming into a man,
but lifes no fairy tale,
there are no princesses.

As I step into a forgotten sun
and hear the bustle of the city
I fondly reminisce
how I played in that ditch
and light a stale cigarette.

 
Hi Weedy, I like what you have done with the poem.  It is much clearer now.  I do think that you may want to adjust the punctuation line by line.  Some lines are punctuated and others are left a little bit too open in my opinion.  So the punctuation comes across a little bit randomly now. Good work so far.  Look forward to reading your next version.