Another Long, Hot Summer

[71degrees]

There is no way to know if any word  ----------I'm not sure how this fist line fit the rest of the poem
is the right word given our shared saliva,
my insipid insomnia. My libido is a given. ------- L2 & L3 contain some vital elements: shared saliva, insipid  insomnia but why would any word be a problem with this type intimate relationship. 

You ache in me.
Your breath crushes me.

Come another summer, each dawn will bring your color
to my skin.

You are my personal stairway
and as I climb Up you and Down you ------ ...as  I climb up and down you would be enough here
looking for the exit, I fear it will be my death.  I like how you ended

71degrees,

I like short poems like this one, and I enjoyed reading your work. My biggest concern for revision is L1. I think you should go with something that doesn't conflict with the intensity of the relationship. And the use of "Another" in the title may be a poor choice. I say this because "another" is a lame transition and the content of the poem doesn't come off lame, really.

Good work.

Luna

Folks can have a crushing, physical, saliva filled relationship and still have a problem saying, "I love you"...or maybe one of them might. A conflict needs to be there, especially at the beginning. "Another" is an indication that this has been going on for multiple years. Am glad (for the most part ) that the poem is coming through for you. Thanks for your comments.