06-13-2016, 02:20 AM
The intitial pattern set is as follows.
I painted out the sunshine with a brush of broom and briar (seven of iambs)
but the birds still sang above the sage marquee. (anapest, 4 iambs)
However by line six...
damply, like a dream that wakes but why, you never know. (7 feet of trochee)
The pattern breaks down, although there are brief attempts at return. However the lines never regain constancy in relation to one another, even if briefly they almost look as though they individually might be returning to form.
Maybe I am not reading this correctly, but trying to follow what seems to be the reflective self, observing the physical self, becomes a bit of a maze:
"I tried to listen downwards where the silence used to be,
in the places where my footfall stopped, I lay."
What this line sounds like is that the speaker is walking across his own grave. I'm not sure that is what is meant, in fact I am fairly certain it is not, but the writing does encourage such an interpretation. Regardless, there is a distinct feeling of death here. The death of who or what is not obvious.
As this is in mild...
dale
I painted out the sunshine with a brush of broom and briar (seven of iambs)
but the birds still sang above the sage marquee. (anapest, 4 iambs)
However by line six...
damply, like a dream that wakes but why, you never know. (7 feet of trochee)
The pattern breaks down, although there are brief attempts at return. However the lines never regain constancy in relation to one another, even if briefly they almost look as though they individually might be returning to form.
Maybe I am not reading this correctly, but trying to follow what seems to be the reflective self, observing the physical self, becomes a bit of a maze:
"I tried to listen downwards where the silence used to be,
in the places where my footfall stopped, I lay."
What this line sounds like is that the speaker is walking across his own grave. I'm not sure that is what is meant, in fact I am fairly certain it is not, but the writing does encourage such an interpretation. Regardless, there is a distinct feeling of death here. The death of who or what is not obvious.
As this is in mild...
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.