Senseless Remorse

[mitsuch]

Uh, a grasping title as Pdeath said, however I found the entire poem disconnected from itself. The different Stanzas dont seem to link up mostly due to some of the phrasing which makes no sense to me. Plus the overuse of striking wording has made it seem cheap and seem like you're trying too hard to add the element of shock. Plus there is a grammatical error which I have pointed out down below. Lastly, some of the lines are very generic and cliched, been there done that types. I'd suggest using better, but lighter, wording to phrase it and look it over once to make sure it doesn't come off in any way that you aren't intending it to. Some lines however I did like, I have pointed them out.

Senseless Remorse:
 
Don't tell me which door to love more.
Thank the shelf from which I whore myself
Off an awkward cliff hanging by a loose thread
A reckless noose wrapped around my head
 
What do we do when the guests have gone
belly up in their own muck?
Castrating their breasts so long, too long
after they're shit out of luck.
 
Lying in halls too cramped to see,
the end of the tunnel fast approaching me.
Legless spiders frowning on closet stalls, - Couldn't make head or tail of this.
bodies swallowed by the drain of an empty sea.
 
The prophets writing is on the walls, graffiti - prophet's*
sighing, shifting curtains of a crime scene.
The victims all blame each other,
pointing fingers at their own discretion, - I like this line.
while laughing and turning tricks at me!