Dark Personified

[DavidF]

Hi there I enjoy the fondness you have for your subject. Almost like it's your puppy. I have a bit of a gripe about your opening. The couplet followed by an assonance really put me on edge. Maybe I just don't get what you are aiming for as you do something similar in the second verse. I am not used to this place or to giving notes on poetry so I hope this isn't totally missing the point.

The gentle touch, the soft embrace                   
That tickles my toes and kisses my face                           
‘Til morning breaks, and away it’s chased.                        
Kept at bay ‘til dusk walks by,                                           
And Mother holds tight to the sky.                 
                                                                               
Then, slowly walking through the street
Recovers from its last retreat                ( maybe 'latest retreat' would avoid confusion )
Draped gently like an endless sheet.     ( 'drapes' might go better with walking to reinforce present tense) 
Covering windows, closing doors,
Only to recede once more.

Peacefully timid, eagerly shy
Patiently waiting to explore.