Dark Personified
#8
(05-25-2016, 11:17 PM)Seanwd98 Wrote:  The gentle touch, the soft embrace
That tickles my toes and kisses my face. I am a bit divided here, I really like this intro, but I have trouble seeing the tickling from shadows..you could look for some inspiration in yin yang, maybe washes my toes..I like the beginning nonetheless
‘Til morning breaks, and away it’s chased.
Kept at bay ‘til dusk walks by,  if it is darkness, it hides in the shadows at day..which might be what you mean by kept at bay, just a thought 
And Mother holds tight to the sky.  

Then, slowly walking through the street
Recovers from its last retreat
Draped gently like an endless sheet.   I really like this metaphor for darkness/night sweeping over earth
Covering windows, closing doors,   I am not sure how it closes doors?
Only to recede once more.

Peacefully timid, eagerly shy
Patiently waiting to explore.   Beautiful ending stanza
I liked the read, you might have already used yin and yang as inspiration, otherwise darkness is a perfect subject for it. 

Thank you for sharing this poem
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Dark Personified - by Seanwd98 - 05-25-2016, 11:17 PM
RE: Dark Personified - by Magpie - 05-26-2016, 08:21 PM
RE: Dark Personified - by lwahl - 05-27-2016, 08:45 PM
RE: Dark Personified - by RexBanner - 05-28-2016, 10:00 AM
RE: Dark Personified - by msredd - 06-01-2016, 05:18 AM
RE: Dark Personified - by Jonsy3k - 06-01-2016, 03:22 PM
RE: Dark Personified - by Marymic - 06-05-2016, 07:03 AM
RE: Dark Personified - by Joseph Didis - 06-05-2016, 02:50 PM
RE: Dark Personified - by DavidF - 06-06-2016, 01:46 PM
RE: Dark Personified - by XavF - 06-06-2016, 05:44 PM
RE: Dark Personified - by mitsuch - 06-09-2016, 12:17 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!