Street Life

[Magpie]

"lake Loch Ness"

There's no joy greater than messing with tourists.  Tourism is the major industry where I live, and of course we're all very friendly and welcoming (really, we are) because we're grateful for their interest in our otherwise pointless city where nothing happens away from the attractions.  

My dad used to work in a service station and had loads of stories about visitors to our fair land, but one of my favourites is the American tourist who asked the best way to hike across Queensland "because I can hike across New York State in a day".  Dad, not only smelling bullshit on the boast, thoughtfully gave him a mud map to Birdsville and told him it was a hard slog but most people could manage it in a bit over 20 hours.  

It's true, of course.  That's how long it took us to drive there.

I wish I could claim that I thought of "lake Loch Ness" myself but sadly I stole it from the tourists.

I do love the tourists really, without them Inverness would be quiet in the summer, but I just try my best to avoid them.

Thanks for reading,

Mark

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Can haggis fly? How big are they?
Is genius
More please.

@Leanne, I hope the bloke knew how to survive on his own arm, rightly roasted, and a wee dram of pee a day

These are the questions that you need to know the answers to before you go out Haggis Hunting or 'shopping' as it's more commonly known. You wouldn't want to go out ill equipped. 

Mark