05-19-2016, 09:14 AM
Self critique
It started with cutting just a few words,
not too much mostly cliche
but it made things worse
so I started in line by line
that seemed to work fine
apart from the habit of forcing my rhymes.
My titles never seem to work
and I think it should end
before the last verse
as most of the good stuff
is the bit that comes first.
They'll say he just stopped writing
but there's no poetry in that?
and although the petrol smell
is frightening and the tiptoed
noose is tightening.
It just comes down to the ending
and a slow mo match descending.
It started with cutting just a few words,
not too much mostly cliche
but it made things worse
so I started in line by line
that seemed to work fine
apart from the habit of forcing my rhymes.
My titles never seem to work
and I think it should end
before the last verse
as most of the good stuff
is the bit that comes first.
They'll say he just stopped writing
but there's no poetry in that?
and although the petrol smell
is frightening and the tiptoed
noose is tightening.
It just comes down to the ending
and a slow mo match descending.
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out