Pretty Boy

[Jae Mc Donnell]

Pretty Boy
 
We sit together on a log
Looking across the reservoir
 
Admiring the autumn colors
Layered under the blue sky I like this couplet 
 
Yellow, orange, brown and evergreen
Cast reflections serene
 
A quiet breeze sets the tone
for what would be our last afternoon 
 
You’re more quiet than usual
While I get up to search for bones This is lost on me. Are you using imagery? It seems out of place with the rest of the piece.
 
Fisherman in their boat Fishermen
Don’t pay us any note
 
A crow calls out overhead
His fortuitous cry piercing the silence
 
What was it you were thinking?
I now know with regret
 
I wish we had sat and held hands
and confessed our hearts’ discontent
 
Perhaps we could have saved ourselves from anguish
Perhaps we could have saved what was left
 
For that quiet afternoon this past October
was our last meeting as lovers

Hello and welcome. My issue here is it doesn't invoke any emotion in me or draw me into any nice imagery. Maybe try some imagery and maybe a bit about the emotions shared would give something to gravitate towards. It was nice to read and I hope this is helpful.