Pretty Boy

[laltieri0]

Pretty Boy
 
We sit together on a log   Choose a new opener that draws the reader in more  
Looking across the reservoir
 
Admiring the autumn colors 
Layered under the blue sky
 
Yellow, orange, brown and evergreen  L2-L6 reword to characterize the scenery with more vivid and unique imagery. Listing colors isn't effective.. I like the scene you're trying to set but be more specific-- what's brown? What kind of brown? These are pretty vague 
Cast reflections serene
 
A quiet breeze sets the tone
for what would be our last afternoon 
 
You’re more quiet than usual
While I get up to search for bones
 
Fisherman in their boat
Don’t pay us any note This seems a little forced. You don't rhyme throughout so I wouldn't worry about it here
 
A crow calls out overhead
His fortuitous cry piercing the silence  you already said he calls out, maybe use a different line prior to this. You could say a more interesting version of him flying overhead or something. Just personal opinion. 
 
What was it you were thinking?
I now know with regret
 
I wish we had sat and held hands  ...I, i 
and confessed our hearts’ discontent
 
Perhaps we could have saved ourselves from anguish
Perhaps we could have saved what was left
 
For that quiet afternoon this past October
was our last meeting as lovers. Awkward as a last line and anticlimactic. You could even try dropping "meeting as lovers" and I think it'd be a little stronger 

I like the idea you're working with, I just need to feel it more and see it happen. Leave some unsaid. Lead the reader to the conclusion you state at the end. Show body language, tell us how the breeze feels, etc. good work!