A Poet's Mathematics

[LunaDeLore]

Tiger,

there’s a tax bill
with a sticky note
under the bulk
of an old office calculator
trying to weigh us down

I’ve unplugged it

Even old calculators where mostly cordless. It was the greatest thing about them when they hit the market. People could unplug the old adding machines and carry a calculator in their pocket. And I think L12. would better convey your message by replacing calculator with something like an old adding machine or even distressed adding machine especially since you dealing with taxes.

Here's an idea:

my desk is a mess
but I know exactly
where I left you

there’s a tax bill
with a note
under the bulk
of an old adding machine
trying to weigh us down

I’ve unplugged it

L5 also strikes me as a place for possible revision. Black ink is black and we typically see it referred to in shades, such as charcoal black or midnight black etc. It may read better (for example) like this:

a lifetime
to rightly divide it;
to edit us in jet black ink...

I mean wouldn't black ink already be perfectly black just being black?

And to be in complete admittance, I truly enjoyed reading this poem and appreciate the energy it radiates; just a bit of polish could make it even better.


Luna