Inheritance

[LunaDeLore]

I like the imagery you've provided the reader but in some places it's broken and doesn't come together well.

For example:

"that night when the horsemen
came, in the bedrooms
locked behind doors of dreams become
some other man's sweaty desire --
violence and rage.
we fell into tomorrow."

When reading this I can see the horsemen coming in but I don't see how "locked behind doors of dreams become..." This is where the work loses me.

You may smooth that out with something like this:

locked behind doors of dreams,
dreams that become some other man's sweaty desire..

Just a bit of revision would make this poem a much better read

Good work !