Simple Poetry (Prologue [1/4])

[DerTomatenToaster]

At the risk of stating the obvious, it's written entirely with spliced fragments. There isn't a single image, static or dynamic. The ideas don't connect very well, but I understand the reasons and ideas behind many of them. The subject is weak. As far as story goes, I really didn't get a proper introduction out of this. It is almost solely a list of reasons for some unidentified thing happening. It's not hard to make inferences, however.

Edit: Right, well my phone wouldn't let me send anything longer than the above review. Here's a little extension. The language is a bit rough on some lines (mostly regarding tense), which made reading it a little to difficult for me.  There is very inconsistent rhyme and meter, but those are forgivable (primarily the meter. Inconsistent rhyme does bother me a bit more).

There is thought to the piece, which is probably why I can appreciate this as lyrics, but as a poem to stand on its own, not so much. The last two lines, of course, are some of the strongest, though admittedly not very strong. It's one of those pieces where there seems to be far too much excess. Too much fat, not enough meat. You have written 18 lines (175 words) to make a laundry list of reasons for some unidentified occurrence that all start with the same line, and it seems as if it was only done to make those last two lines have some meaning to the reader/listener.

As I said before: Most things like the language and the lack of strong lines will be gone in the coming lyrics. So even if I of course understand your problem, there are some reasons to it, which I will also explain in this post. 
Except for the inconsistent rhymes and meter... sorry. I don't really like concistent rhymes, but I'll try to be at least a bit more consistent.

I think your biggest complain was that those are reasons for an "unidentified thing happening", because not understanding what it's about obviously takes away everything that could be good about it. I will definitly try to find a way to make it more obvious, maybe change the title, so the because is referring to that.

The first verse was actually there to tell you what it's about. It's first hinting about writing, and then in the third line it actually tells you what it's about: "...because OF THAT I'll write this down as a poem." Every line which is starting a sentence is a reason for the protagonist to write this (and the following lyrics), all the lines continuing a sentence are explaining the previous line.
His main reasons being: 
- That his voice would start shaking etc. when talking (social anxiety)
- Person not listening to the lines he/she should (because you can read something that's written over and over again until you understand it, but can sometimes not hear something in a conversation)
- Being sorry for a bunch of things and trying to make up for it using poetry

The poem being very plain and not interinstly written is the way he thinks of himself in a conversation. Boring, repetitive, just not a person you would want to talk to, because he "is not good enoug at it." So in the end he ends up making the same mistake he did in conversations in a poem and ends up seeing his mistake in the last verse. <- Of course I wasn't expecting anyone to understand all of that.

Oh and about: "I really didn't get a proper introduction out of this."
This really isn't a typical introduction, it's more of a list of topics that this EP will be about. As I know that you know the band I will just make a comparison: This is an introduction like "All our bruised bodies and the whole heart shrinks" is an outroduction for Wildlife. You could probably even compare my "Because" to Jordans "Tell me that you".

So, thanks a lot for your criticism. I'll try to make the topic(s) a little more obvious, maybe it would even be enough to change the title into something like "Writing because...". I don't know, but still, thanks for reading.