Amen
#4
Nice one, Julius. Liked the last stanza.
The 'but' in L5 seems to be one syllable too many? Doesn't sound right in my ear.

EDIT - the stressed / unstressed count depends on whether you start L5 with 'cry' or 'CRY' - I was doing the latter, and the 'but' was over the number. If you start with an unstressed 'cry' then the 'but' is OK.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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Messages In This Thread
Amen - by Julius - 03-13-2016, 11:45 PM
RE: Amen - by DerTomatenToaster - 03-14-2016, 12:10 AM
RE: Amen - by Julius - 03-15-2016, 09:26 PM
RE: Amen - by DerTomatenToaster - 03-16-2016, 12:52 AM
RE: Amen - by Julius - 03-16-2016, 04:57 AM
RE: Amen - by Deckpoop - 03-15-2016, 05:23 AM
RE: Amen - by Achebe - 03-15-2016, 05:38 AM
RE: Amen - by DC Black - 03-16-2016, 06:56 PM
RE: Amen - by Sciencegeek - 03-23-2016, 06:38 AM
RE: Amen - by RiverNotch - 03-24-2016, 03:44 PM
RE: Amen - by Julius - 03-27-2016, 03:41 AM
RE: Amen - by Mr.Malicious - 03-29-2016, 05:05 PM
RE: Amen - by tectak - 03-29-2016, 06:16 PM



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